I've been writing on desire, which makes it a kind of a persistent curiosity in my life. Yesterday, returning home from Camille's piano lesson, I excitedly waved my copy of George Eliot's Middlemarch as soon as I was through the door and had caught a glimpse of Ryan.
"Listen to this!" I insisted. We stood in the middle of the mudroom. I didn't take off my boots or my coat. I just started reading.
There may be coarse hypocrites, who consciously affect beliefs and emotions for the sake of gulling the world, but Bulstrode was not one of them. He was simply a man whose desires had been stronger than his theoretic beliefs, and who had gradually explained the gratification of his desires into satisfactory agreement with those beliefs. If this be hypocrisy, it is a process which shows itself occasionally in us all, to whatever confession we belong. . .
We are creatures who want, and I believe this now in new ways. That it is human to want, that desire unfolds in each of our histories, has made me eager to tell my own story. Not that there have been few catastrophes of self-will. (There have been many, and I have not spared these in the writing of the book.) But grace has also been operative, and there hasn't only been depravity. Indeed, there have also been good and beautiful desires I have finally found permission to reclaim: even this, the desire to write.
However, I'm realizing my eagerness, not just to tell my stories of desire, but to listen to others. And that's why I'm reaching out to you.
To write here.
I'd love to hear how your desire has played a role in your own faith journey.
Have you been suspicious about your desires? Or have you been overly confident?
How does your attitude toward desire influence the way that you pray? How does it impact the way that you see God?
Describe a moment when your desires were “converted.” Perhaps you realized your good and godly desires needed to be reclaimed. Or maybe you finally recognized the selfishness of your desires and moved with greater willingness toward surrender.
Whether or not you're a writer, you have a story to tell. Please consider submitting a 400- to 500-word essay that begins with this lead:
I’ve wanted (I want) I didn’t want (or I don’t want)
And don't forget to include your biographical information and a photo if you wish. (I do reserve copyediting rights simply for clarity.)
Thank you in advance for your submissions!