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Jen Pollock Michel

( author + writer + speaker )

Writing on the Mommy Wars

Ben Goshow

Have you given me up for dead? I hope not. It's called Christmas, and it's now come and gone like a wind gust. It was beautiful and hard, and if I have the courage to write about the disappointments and losses of this last Advent season, I will. But I reckon I won't - and will choose to tend to them more privately and prayerfully. But if you, too, met Christmas with a bleeding heart, I hope you'll find courage from this simple promise from the Psalms that granted me some comfort. "The Lord hears when I call to him." Ps. 4:3. This. When Christmas is hard.

My real reason for popping in here briefly was to direct you over to Today's Christian Woman, where they have some fantastic content on "The Mommy Wars." Kate Harris is a speaker I heard at Q's Conference on Women and Calling, and she was fantastic. She's written an essay called, "The Complex Choices that Divide Us." Marian Liautaud writes about, "The Mommy War Raging Within Me," and Jean E. Jones about being childless. I've written a piece entitled, "When our Deepest Desires Collide," which I'll just briefly excerpt here.

"Like the majority of women today, I live at the intersection of work and family, even the work of family. I am a wife and mother, even now a writer—making the "rhetorical" questions of the Mommy Wars anything but rhetorical. They are not benign curiosities at which I play like a fascinated cat with her ball of string. The answers matter. What is my calling as a woman? Or better said, what does God require of me? The answers to these questions, theological in nature, beg to give meaningful shape to who I am and what I do. They are value-driven, even "teleological," if I may borrow an idea from James K.A. Smith. They mean to tell me what makes my life good. Is it children? Career? A complicated choreography of both?

I've spent the past 12 years of motherhood caught in the questions—and tangled by my desires. I have wanted to be a godly wife and mother. I have believed these to be God-valued callings. I have also wanted to write, a discipline begging something quieter than the spin cycle of home. The desires war. And I feel splintered."

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The essay isn't free, but it's worth considering how you might begin paying for some of the content you get online - - because it isn't produced for free. For $10, you can get a iPad subscription to TCW for an entire year.