It was five whole days Colin lay limp. This is a boy who doesn't normally sit still five whole seconds.
Asthma. RSV. Pneumonia. Ear infection. His sickness was a literal germ conspiracy, and it landed him in the hospital for 36 hours.
A mother's skin is only so elastic.
The truth is, I've been worrying. Sick with worry. Irritable and sleeping restlessly and every morning, waking up to more worry.
We've spent years building a trusted network of medical doctors in the States.
And I'm starting over. In a system I don't understand. With doctors I don't know and can't yet trust.
It snows today.
I feel dread, and Canada feels so far from home.
I've spent the past two days making urgent phone calls to every doctor (and doctor friend) we know. Hours I've combed through the cryptic notes of his past years of care, trying my amateur hand at figuring out what is going wrong and how can we keep him well in this winter that's barely begun?
I've been praying.
Put Colin into expert hands.
And you've been praying, too.
Here's a facebook message I had just this afternoon from a friend.
I prayed for comfort. For peace. For health restored. For patience. For wisdom. For help - any help, God could send today.
Two days ago, our friend from church, himself a respirologist, put in a referral to a pediatric respirologist. Grace.
I called immediately and got an appointment for December 19. Extraordinary. (These kinds of referrals aren't easy to come by in Canada. And it's not unusual to wait months to schedule an appointment.)
Today, the receptionist from the specialist's office calls me back.
"This is Dr. __________'s office calling. We had a cancellation for next Monday at 2:30 and could see Colin then. I thought of you and called to see if you'd like to reschedule."
Thought of me? But you don't know me, and I hadn't put my name on any kind of waiting list.
Help, any help, God could send today.
My friend's message concludes:
He sent a miracle - a doctor's appointment. My prayers chanted in the cold Wednesday morning, across I-74 in the middle of corn fields, were heard by the Creator. This brings me hope. And, a smile. And, renewed faith that He does listen. And, he does love us.
Thank you, gracious God.
Thank you, dear friends.